How to rob a car awaiting traffic signal

Surprisingly it takes only three people.

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. How can I make use of BDA’s [Bangalore Development Authority] inability to fill my pockets? After a lot of sleepless nights, the tube light did glow in my brain.

Coming together is a beginning

You will need – a Distracter, a Snatcher and the Mark.

The person last mentioned brings you your meal. It is the job of the Distracter to engage the Mark busy over some absorbing conversation so that the Snatcher can snatch whatever he can from the Mark’s car.

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link

Choose your pieces carefully.

Distracter: Get a tightly build thug with whom no gentle man would ever want to get into a fistfight. Verbal swish-swash-ability is a must. At the very least, he should be capable enough to make loud noise.

Snatcher: Silent as a cat and swifter than a swift car. He is the finisher of this game, so it goes without saying that his fastness is vital.

Mark: Try to find a Mark as careless as possible; especially someone rich as well as careless would be ideal. Thinking this would be difficult? It is Bangalore, baby. Close your eyes and pick one. The roads are literally swarming with such people. Why rich? Because they will not bother to make a big fuss about their loss; should they realize it.

Keeping together is progress

Line of sight is a must – on and off the field. Abort at the slightest sign of trouble. An overall grasp on the proceedings can save a lot of hospital time.

Finally select a signal which is sparingly frequented by police.

We are good to get rich. Let’s roll.

Working together is success

Initial position:

Locate a car with only driver seat occupied and passenger window screen opened. When the signal is about to change to yellow [this timing need to be procured before starting the sting], Distracter approaches the Mark.

Confrontation:

BAM!” Bang hard on the trunk of the car. It should be loud enough to make even a deaf person jump in his seat. Wondering what is happening Mark will put his head out of the window. The moment he does that, Snatcher swoops in looking for his prey. It doesn’t matter what Distracter do here. Just make sure Mark’s head stay outside the window.

The Act:

Snatcher approaches and grabs whatever is valuable and reachable. Exit from the scene immediately.

Timing:

Don’t worry about the other cars and the people inside them. They will be busy honking the vehicles in front of them to get moving even though green signal is some seconds away. This is enough to make the Mark or anyone nervous enough to want to carry the car on one’s head and run. This ability of the people makes timing very important.

Dispatcher should distract the Mark when the yellow light starts to blink. Snatcher should be in a position to see when the Mark looks back. Snatcher would have almost five seconds to act. By that time, the signal would have turned green and the vehicles behind Mark would be making such a racket that he will be forced to get moving. All hands must exit the scene immediately. 

Congratulations. The joint is a success.
No wonder they say team work is the key to success!


Note: This is not a fictional plan. Nor is this one of my dumbest ideas. This is practicable and people are practicing this in the streets of Bangalore now-a-days. We became aware of this when my colleague lost his mobile to such a fix. Bangalore is for sure getting dirtier.
PS: The day they devise a plan to rob a biker on a signal would be the day Bangalore loses the last of its charm for me.

“Youngest” As In “The Luckiest”

Being the youngest in the family has its advantages. Despite being the most spoiled, I love being one. Why?

1. All your bills will be automatically taken care of.

2. You can always ask your brother for pocket money and he can’t ask you.

3.You can go through your elder’s stuff and nick the goodies.

4.Everyone in the family gives you money during Eid

5.Even if your brother knows that you are cheating in the game against him, he will let you win.

6.Every month you are entitled to get three salaries

•one from Father : this is your birth right.

•one from Mother : sympathy-money you collect complaining that father is cutting down your monthly allowances.

•another from bro : pocketing  this from him is ultimate test of your talents.

7.You are the accepted trouble maker of the family

8.Maintaining an innocent ignorant face, after a well planned calamity, will clear you and make your bro feel the heat;even if for a short breathing space, before getting busted.

9.Your pranks are always forgiven. (but not forgotten! All these stories, especially the embarrassing ones, are made sure to be known to your grandsons and granddaughters)

10.Even after reaching home very late, every dumb excuse you make is accepted.

11.You will have a sis-in-law to make you an uncle.

And this is my favourite:

12. For the dinner, a single omelette is shared among the four. Still you will find the largest piece in your plate. Could it get any better?

If yes, leave me a comment.

– dedicated to my family –